- Food poisoning 1 (dodgy kebab/curry/scampi last night)
- Serious exposure to children with chicken-pox / mumps.
- 'Personal problems'
- Sprained ankle while decorating the attic (play up humour)
- Gastric flu (no one knows exactly what it is, so take two days.)
- Red spots
- Liver/ heart pains
- Explosive diarrhoea
- Dizziness upon attempting to get out of bed.
- Food poisoning 2 ( I should never have eaten the egg rolls at that wedding. The whole party has gone down.)
- Blinding headaches.
- Temporary deafness (play this up when phoning in)
- Pain 'down there'
- 'That' tummy bug that's going round
- Broken finger
- Develop and maintain a physical condition that regularly gives you pain, that your GP insists you always go and see him about; but that is a little bit mysterious and nothing you could be hospitalized for. My 'dodgy' kidneys (which are actually a bit fucked up) give me all the time off I need; even let me go home early/ come in late when I feel like it.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
What do I tell my boss?
Everybody should have a varied repertoire of reasons to take a day off work. Really, it's only poor lying and a lack of creative thinking that lets the whole workforce down by rubbing managers' noses in it too thoroughly. So, twenty things you can call in sick with, to recycle over a yearly basis (and if you pull more than twenty sickies a year, even I think you should rethink your career.)