Monday, November 03, 2008

Sickened

1. My whole flat smells funny. It's spreading down the stairs. 2. 'I kissed a girl and I liked it, hope my boyfriend don't mind it,' Both the action described in the song and the song itself are cheaper, less titillating pornography than Mills and Boon.. Everyone who wants to try kissing a girl has tried it by the time they are seventeen, and everybody else couldn't give a fuck. 3. My friend mended my PC and in doing so got rid of all the programmes I never use. Including Paint! I need Paint! I use it all the time! Spent ages looking for it until I thought to ask him. He got rid of Minesweeper as well, but I was too ashamed to suggest I needed it back. 4. Now I'll never beat my dad's high score. 5. The US elections make me itch with either bored fury or furious boredom. 'Because democracy is not a spectator sport.' ~ US presidential election slogan, Democrats (2004) What? 'Course it is, especially in America! Its being covered by seemingly 'serious' news sources as though it were celebrity Big Brother! 6. I didn't move 400 miles south of London to have it SNOW in OCTOBER. 7. I accidentally watched most of the Sexism and the City movie before I was rescued by uncontrollable vomiting. Contrary to most evil back-back-back-lash brainwashing, this film is not a good argument for the feminist movement. It is an argument for a crazed killing spree against all the men in the world and most of the women in New York. This film's definition of 'love', the thing every successful, financially stable, expensively shod career women is allegedly desperately searching for, makes me want to never leave my flat again, but instead spend the rest of my life leaning out of the window spitting on passer-bys' heads. And shouting 'Fuck You' when they look up. The subplot with the plump black assistant who finds love where she least expects it! (SATC broadening the brainwashing- its not just thin white women who need a man's love) Think what a horrific message the TV show sent out then multiply by a thousand, then take off some for the message being somewhat dimmed by the boring boring boring zzzzzzz... And the clothes aren't all that either. But my fault for watching it. Please DON'T watch it, so that I can tell myself I did some good by sharing the 'love'. 8. I bid for something on ebay- I actually won it, by some lucky chance, but I don't think I want to participate in an auction ever again. Felt wracked with guilty anxiety- what if I lost but had pushed up the price by like £50 for someone else? Then they would be paying £50 for the dubious honour of being crapper than money than me. (I also have this paranoid fantasy that there's all these unemployed financial traders out there at the moment with nothing to do but stare at the internet, and what better mindless facebook replacement for a redundant stockbroker than to surf ebay wantonly pushing up the prices on other people's stuff that they don't want just for kicks while doing coke off their tropical fish mousemats?) Clearly online auctions are for people who can stomach competing markets. I can't. 9. Got a job interview for a teaching job. The interview takes place in an office. I have to bring- Passeport original + 2 copie(s) recto/verso. - Carte d'étudiant original + 1 copie(s) recto/verso. - Dernier diplôme obtenu original + 1 copie(s) recto/verso. - Curriculum Vitae - Pièce indiquant le n° de sécurité sociale original + 1 copie(s) recto/verso. - RIB Does this office not have photocopying or scanning facilities? I might not get the job! It's like a test- only if I am dedicated enough to make 11 copies of obscure documentation will I prove that I have the mettle for the job. That's like 1Euro 60!

5 comments:

weierstrass said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
weierstrass said...

I didnt know you could remove Paint

Sicily said...

Can you stop moaning about shit

problemshelved said...

Can YOUR MUM stop moaning about shit

Gloria said...

I love you. In a bath.