She told me that her Dad was loaded/I have therefore developed my own fool-proof three-part questionnaire in order to identify those elusive middle-classes. Piloted on students at Wednesday's demonstration, (where 99% of students polled answered Yes to two or fewer questions) it has never failed me yet. Just grab your guinea-pig by his white collar and ask him:
I said "In that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola,"/
She said "Fine."
1. Do you call it a napkin?
2. Do you control the means of production?
3. Do you have a job?
To be definitely middle-class you must answer Yes to three out of three questions. If you only answer two correctly, you may be middle-class, but you are probably not. Even if instead of working in a coal-mine or a call-centre you are an over-educated part-time teacher with a blog and an olive tree in a pot that you bought at Columbia Road Market, you probably need to think very carefully about your status and your relation to the forces that run this country. And then snap your Macbook shut, tie up your Converse trainers and get marching.